The colorful, potentially prevaricated antics of this week’s Patient of the Week, an ailing teenage Lolita, aren’t nearly as much fun as House breaking down and confessing his love for Cuddy in this week’s episode — and dressing up in 1780s fashions! Oh… And Chase finally tells Cameron that he killed that African dictator weeks ago.
Patient of the Week Jordan is a 16-year-old aspiring rock groupie/sci-fi geek whose hands and feet swell up after a night out on the town at a star-studded party with her best friend. Although Jordan’s BFF knows most of the real story, there are still some details that escape her. Initially, Jordan gives her other group of teenage friends a story that she spent the night with an eyeliner-wearing rockstar. In reality, Jordan and her friend hit up a party attended by both the aforementioned rock star… and a sci-fi director/auteur whose work Jordan and her friend greatly admire.
After Jordan starts bleeding into her heart, the team of Cameron, Chase, and Foreman attempt to discover whether or not she was roofied by the director who was potentially pulling a Polanski after Jordan delivers him his journal that he had left at the party back to his hotel room.
It’s later found out that Jordan’s stories were lies, proven by both her friend, hotel surveillance footage, and Foreman monitoring her biorhythms. However, it’s not her fault that she’s been lying, but rather a condition of what’s wrong with her: Hemachromatosis as a result of noshing on oysters on the shell at the fancy schmancy party.
The biggest story of the episode, however, revolves around House and Wilson’s trip to a days-long medical conference… with Cuddy. Although Wilson wants to take House with him since he’s taking his post-nutHouse babysitting responsibilities seriously, House relents and goes along for the ride since it means he’ll have an opportunity for more face time with Cuddy. House goes along for the ride under an assumed doctor’s name. In addition to the Cuddy Factor, House attempts to attempt to talk Wilson out of career suicide and dissuade him from reading his paper on euthanasia. After seeing Wilson’s exceptionally kind, morphine-dispensing bedside manor with a dying cancer patient at Princeton-Plainsboro, House surmises there is a lot more personal truth in Wilson’s treatise than just medical fact.
The conference ends up becoming an exercise in male bonding and traipses into high school territory as House gushes (or as comes as close as humanly possible for House to gush) to Wilson about his feelings for his Administrator. Ever the Pollyanna, Wilson encourages House to declare his feelings to Cuddy himself.
House makes his play at the conference costume party – an ‘80s-themed bash. As Cuddy flashdances her way across the floor dressed as Jane Fonda, House rocks his inner Amadeus with 1780s fashion, complete with a powdered wig and pimp(ernel) dandy cane. Just like any real ‘80s prom, House lets Cuddy know that he had always been romantically interested in her to the strains of “Time After Time.” And again, just like any real ‘80s prom, Cuddy rushes out of the room, slightly uncomfortable with the granule of knowledge – and uncharacteristic (albeit small) show of emotion from House.
Wilson plays the role of good friend and questions Cuddy (this all sounds so high school, doesn’t it?) as to why she doesn’t reciprocate. She admits that House can be sweet, but unreliable, and as a new mommy, she needs a man she can count on.
Wilson carries the info back to House. In turn, House drugs Wilson’s grape soda so he can speak with Cuddy himself. After visiting Cuddy in her room and offering his services to babysit her infant she brought along on the trip, House discovers the reason why Cuddy was so taken aback by his sudden declaration: She’s been dating Detective Lucas from last season. Awk-WARD!
As it turns out, Cuddy had called the detective to investigate a potential accounting scam at the hospital and the two hit it off. She decided to keep this from House because of his fragile state and that she doesn’t like to advertise her personal life. House is surprisingly understanding and Hugh Laurie does a wonderful job conveying the emotionally devoid House’s sense of disappointment underlying his calm exterior.
Now firmly entrenched in the Friends Zone with Cuddy, House actually does do a good deed for his best friend, Wilson, stopping him from admitting that he admires Dr. Kevorkian just a tad too much to his congregated peers. After drugging Wilson and stealing his pants, House assumes the identity of another doctor and reads Wilson’s paper aloud.
Realizing that it’s more about Wilson’s story being heard rather than him being credited – and possibly ruined – for it, House speaks for Wilson to give a voice to the life of the dying and what doctors face when they treat those who are on borrowed time. House reads to the symposium about allowing a dying man to overhear the code to override the morphine drip so he could accidentally overdose instead of succumbing to cancer taking its course. Ultimately, most of the doctors applaud Wilson/assumed identity Dr. House’s paper and the courage it took to read it.
Afterwards, Wilson regrets not being able to connect with his peers, but is grateful for House’s show of friendship. He cites “We’re all murderers. We just don’t have the guts to admit it.” In turn, House attempts to allay Wilson’s feelings towards his profession, noting that of all of the oncologists in the world, all of them lose patients, yet Wilson is the only one who would feel guilty about it.
Speaking of feeling guilty, Chase shrugs off Cameron’s supposition that he’s having an affair and finally comes clean to his wife, telling her that he was responsible for Diballa’s death. Cameron doesn’t seem to know how to take the news. Guess we’ll find out how this affects Cameron and the rest of the Princeton-Plainsboro staff next week.
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