On House, this week’s Patient of the Week, a bona fide genius and M.I.T. grad who dumbed himself down to be able to live happily with his dullard of a wife, was boring. Once his illness was revealed to be the result of using cough syrup with a vodka chaser to numb himself to his mundane, yet “happy” life and deplete his brain cells to close the 91 I.Q. point gap between himself and his wife. Having attempted suicide several years ago by jumping, the Cough Syrup Savant broke his ribs and the ribs punctured his spleen, severing it into sixteen easy pieces, all of which needed to be removed instead of just the one that Chase had assumed was the problem.
Way more interesting than the episode’s side plot was House’s machinations to break up Cuddy and Lucas. Learning that she’ll be having Thanksgiving dinner at her sister Julia’s, House goes to great lengths to find out where Julia lives and tells Wilson he’s crashing dinner. After driving 3 hours, House makes it to Julia’s house, but she’s in Hawaii. Cuddy anticipated what House would do and instead, bought herself roughly 6 hours to have a holiday dinner with Lucas, her daughter, and the rest of her family at her place, free of any House interruptions.
After returning, House breaks into Lucas’s house… and his wine cellar, chugging a full bottle of wine. In a drunken stupor, House tells Lucas how he was a fool for squandering the chances after chance that Cuddy gave her. Oh, and he tells her that he loves her.
Somehow, House wakes up at his own place. Well, actually his and Wilson’s place. He learns that Lucas breaks up with Cuddy and does The Happy Dance, telling Wilson that Lucas had fallen for his “I’m going to pretend to be drunk and confess my undying love for Cuddy” schtick. Wilson is fairly disgusted at the depths his friend has sunk to, but isn’t entirely surprised.
The real surprise is that Cuddy lied and has concocted a plot with Lucas to fool House into believing they had broken up under the rationale that if House believed they were broken up, he would leave them both alone. House figures it all out and is seemingly okay with this… For now.
Meanwhile, the love lives of the other doctors at Princeton-Plainsboro are equally drama-laden. Thirteen and Foreman have a modicum of tension, which is nothing compared to the tension between House and Chase. After attempting to goad newly-single Chase into offering a plausible theory as to what was ailing Cough Syrup Savant, he simultaneously insults Chase and threatens to call “his smarter half” Cameron to get her opinion on the case. For the second time in the duration of the series, Chase hauls back and clocks House right in the face. House, in turn, refuses to dime out Chase to Cuddy, insisting that he “tripped over an ottoman” after she attempts to reprimand Chase. Not entirely altruistic with this, House uses his busted nose to show off his newly-acquired “better nature” to Cuddy, selflessly refusing to see Chase called on the carpet.
Taub also benefits from House’s face-punching in his own way. Mrs. Taub has been rather icy since Taub left his private plastic surgery practice. She’s turned off by the fact that he has to work longer hours and is still doing grunt work at the age of 40 and misses the days when he was his own boss. In an attempt to prove his masculinity and that he truly is a grade-A bad ass, Taub snaps a picture of House’s battered mug and tells the missus that he took matters into his own hands and things got “a little heated” between himself and House. Mrs. Taub immediately gets re-heated for her hubby and all is well between the Taubs once again.
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